The Perfect High

There once was a boy named Gimme-Some-Roy...
He was nothin' like me or you,
'cause laying back and getting high
was all he cared to do.

As a kid, he sat in the cellar...
sniffing airplane glue.
And then he smoked banana peels,
when that was the thing to do.
He tried aspirin in Coca-Cola,
he breathed helium on the sly,
and his life became an endless search
to find the perfect high.

But grass just made him wanna lay back
and eat chocolate-chip pizza all night,
and the great things he wrote when he was stoned
looked like shit in the morning light.

Speed made him wanna rap all day,
reds laid him too far back,
Cocaine-Rose was sweet to his nose,
but the price nearly broke his back.

He tried PCP, he tried THC,
but they never quite did the trick.
Poppers nearly blew his heart,
mushrooms made him sick.
Acid made him see the light,
but he couldn't remember it long.
Hash was a little too weak,
and smack was a lot too strong.
Quaaludes made him stumble,
booze just made him cry,
Then he heard of a cat named Baba Fats
who knew of the perfect high.

Now, Baba Fats was a hermit cat...
lived high up in Nepal,
High on a craggy mountain top,
up a sheer and icy wall.

"Well, hell!" says Roy,
"I'm a healthy boy,
and I'll crawl or climb or fly,
Till I find that guru
who'll give me the clue
as to what's the perfect high."

So out and off goes Gimme-Some-Roy,
to the land that knows no time,
Up a trail no man could conquer,
to a cliff no man could climb.
For fourteen years he climbed that cliff...
back down again he'd slide . . .
He'd sit and cry, then climb some more,
pursuing the perfect high.

Grinding his teeth,
coughing blood,
aching and shaking and weak,
Starving and sore,
bleeding and tore,
he reaches the mountain peak.
And his eyes blink red like a snow-blind wolf,
and he snarls the snarl of a rat,
As there in repose,
and wearing no clothes,
sits the god-like Baba Fats.

"What's happenin', Fats?" says Roy with joy,
"I've come to state my biz . . .
I hear you're hip to the perfect trip...
Please tell me what it is.
"For you can see," says Roy to he,
"I'm about to die,
So for my last ride, tell me,
how can I achieve the perfect high?"

"Well, dog my cats!" says Baba Fats.
"Another burned out soul,
Who's lookin' for an alchemist
to turn his trip to gold.
It isn't in a dealer's stash,
or on a druggist's shelf...
Son, if you would find the perfect high,
find it in yourself."

"Why, you jive mother-fucker!" says Roy,
"I climbed through rain and sleet,
I froze three fingers off my hands,
and four toes off my feet!
I braved the lair of the polar bear,
I've tasted the maggot's kiss.
Now, you tell me the high is in myself?
What kinda shit is this?

My ears, before they froze off," says Roy,
"had heard all kindsa crap;
But I didn't climb for fourteen years
to hear your sophomore rap.
And I didn't climb up here to hear
that the high is on the natch,
So you tell me where the real stuff is,
or I'll kill your guru ass!"

"Okay...okay," says Baba Fats,
"You're forcin' it outta me...
There is a land beyond the sun
that's known as Zabolee.
A wretched land of stone and sand,
where snakes and buzzards scream,
And in this devil's garden blooms
the mystic Tzutzu tree.

Now, once every ten years it blooms one flower,
as white as the Key West sky,
And he who eats of the Tzutzu flower
shall know the perfect high.
For the rush comes on like a tidal wave...
hits like the blazin' sun.
And the high? It lasts forever,
and the down don't never come.

But, Zabolee Land is ruled by a giant,
who stands twelve cubits high,
And with eyes of red in his hundred heads,
he awaits the passer-by.
And you must slay the red-eyed giant,
and swim the river of slime,
Where the mucous beasts await to feast
on those who journey by.
And if you slay the giant and beasts,
and swim the slimy sea,
There's a blood-drinking witch who sharpens her teeth
as she guards the Tzutzu tree."

"Well, to hell with your witches and giants," says Roy,
"To hell with the beasts of the sea--
Why, as long as the Tzutzu flower still blooms,
hope still blooms for me."
And with tears of joy in his sun-blind eyes,
he slips the guru a five,
And crawls back down the mountainside,
pursuing the perfect high.

"Well, that is that," says Baba Fats,
sitting back down on his stone,
Facing another thousand years of talking to God, alone.
"Yes, Lord, it's always the same...
old men or bright-eyed youth...
It's always easier to sell 'em some shit
than it is to tell them the truth."

Shel Silverstein

Back to Basics

I have signed up for a 4 week Yoga class at the Sivananda Center here in Paris. We have class twice a week and each class lasts 1.5 hours. I needed to get back into yoga, and doing it on my own wasn't working. I signed up for the "debutantes" class because I wanted to ease back into it, to learn all this group has to teach about the basic postures, and to be able to understand the French. I was most nervous about the French. My french is slowly improving, but that doesn't stop me from fretting. :D Well, the first class was wonderful. The teacher is a really gentle sweet man. He may be in his 30s, but he could be in his 50s for all I know. There are 8 students in the class, one of whom is disabled. The room is bright and airy. The class went like this: discussion of foundation of Sivananda center, the basic branches of Yoga, chanting, eye exercises, learning to breath, a few basic poses, relaxation, and more chanting.

absolutely wonderful. And I learned a new word: le ventre is the belly. :D

and today's class was even better. We did the eye exercises, the sun salutation, shoulder stand, fish pose, seated forward bend. chanting. relaxation.

I feel absolutely fantastic, very happy, and not afraid to try speaking french. That's the funniest part of this. Not only am I becoming more aware of the present moment again, but after yoga I feel more inclined to try communicating in French.

The teacher today was discussing the benefits of yoga (as far as I could tell, at least). And he was talking about the balance between flexibility and strength. And he said something about NOT getting "washboard abs"....but, he didn't use the analogy of a washboard. He said "a package of chocolate" instead.




Isn't that awesome? I love the visual of that, and the fact that this Frenchman sees those abs and is reminded of food. love it!

Moon River

Tonight I watched Breakfast at Tiffany's on a movie screen.

...Best...experience...EVER!

The theater was small and cozy and absolutely charming! Outside, the facade of the building was fitted with a red overhang, some subtle neon lights, display windows, and minor flood lights which allowed me to watch the slight drizzle as we stood in line. Inside, the screening room was small and the screen not much bigger than some large TVs. The seats were lush and red and very narrow. The walls were red and there was a small stage that made me think of the possibility of live plays. The movie itself was wonderful. I laughed, and I cried. The music moved me, and I was so content at the end. so wonderful. I sort of feel as if I'm only just now seeing Breakfast at Tiffany's, truly, for the first time.

I'm now obsessed with watching classic movies in these charming small theaters, which are sprinkled throughout Paris. absolutely obsessed!

The Floor Scrapers

There is something about this painting that I love. I'm not sure what it is. Maybe I enjoy the painting because this scene feels realistic to me. I like that they are working hard, are shirtless, and are talking to each other with a bottle of wine waiting on the side. And, in person, the detail of the wood floor is breath taking. I would even go as far to say the shine of the floor is reminiscent of a Vermeer. That's a high compliment from me. :D This painting was done by Gustave Caillebotte in 1875, and it is displayed in the Musee D'Orsay.

Walking to a friends house, I noticed this image on the side of a book store.



This hidden treasure is one of the many things I love about Paris.

Jawa attack caught on tape.

So, instead of spending all my time on facebook, I studied my french, did some yoga, listened to music, and made this very silly (and very blurry) video called Counter-Attack of the Jawa.

Tautology

A good friend of mine has been talking about the absurdity of facebook. I am one of those people who spends the working day in front of a computer, so I have a web browser tab constantly open to facebook. I check facebook (and my e-mail) obsessively. So, I regularly post photos and silly one liners. I post comics I find funny. I play scrabble with my mom(#). I farm a fairy tale land in which animals never get sick or die from lack of food, there is no mud or manure, and the crops are always healthy. I peep into my friends lives without them knowing about it. And I peep into lives of people I knew in high school. These people are very nice, but we are vastly different, and they probably don't enjoy my "I support same sex marriage" posts. On the other hand, I really do enjoy seeing what everyone is up to on a daily basis. It's such a strange and false world, but I'm completely wrapped up in it.

Tautology is a word I learned today thanks to the XKCD comic strip. I laughed really hard when I read this strip, and I immediately thought of facebook. Facebook is an exercise in tautology for me. Instead of experiencing and living life, I'm unnecessarily repeating it on facebook, rendering myself redundant. It's almost as if I'm attempting to reduce my life to my profile page on facebook. I have my interactions there rather than through e-mail or phone calls...or heaven forbid face-to-face.

So, I've decided to break free of my bad habits this lenten season. This is the first time I've decided to make multiple changes as I usually focus on a single habit. Each habit I've chosen to drop this year is something I classify as a distraction and/or something that inhibits me from experiencing people, books, foods, and events (i.e. life). So, it's a big challenge, but just like with any addiction, I will take it one day at a time.

And funny how I've been meaning to post on my blog for months, but the day I decide to take a break from facebook and farmville, I return to my blog.

So, raise your glass and let's toast to my debut into society and, hopefully, the return of tangible interactions with the people of the world(*)!




(#) I love playing scrabble online, and this is one habit I'm not giving up for now.
(*) Yes, I get the irony of declaring this on the blogosphere. :D

another strange dream

So, I dreamt about my cat last night. She's a mature cat, and maybe I'm worried she's going to pass away while I'm kicking up my heels in the City of Lights. In my dream, she was wearing a cat shaped hat. It covered her face and ears. It was all white so that it covered her black and white coloring. Her eyes were milky and didn't see much. She was super cuddly, but it was difficult to pet her through the knitted covering. That's all I remember.

so weird.

I also had a dream that I was trying to find my passport. I was about to leave for a trip, and I was running late. But, no matter how hard I searched, I couldn't find my passport. I'm sure this dream has something to do with the fact that I haven't received my permanent Visa yet. My temporary one expires on the 25th of November.

Photographic Evidence

Here is some proof that I'm actually in Paris: Ha! No, this is me in Finland. Of course. But, I did get the directions to Paris while I was there:



Here is my apartment:

This is the overall view of the place






This is the living room






And here are the essentials of Parisian life: wine, coffee, and bread! I just bought that silver espresso maker, and I love it. I have cheese and chocolate too, but I left them in the fridge. :D

Now, that I finally bought batteries for my camera, I hope to post more photos. Tomorrow, I am taking a brief tour of Paris. So, stay tuned...

Correlations

This comic from xkcd cracks me up.

Television

I decided to watch a little French TV so that I could hear everyday French being spoken. Tonight I found "La Roue de la Fortune"...you guessed it, it's the French version of the Wheel of Fortune. The French Vanna (I will call her LaVanna) is a little slutty (as seen in the photo) with big boobs and lips. She bounced around the stage giggling and dancing. She had to lug some board out to the middle of the stage and set it up. It was weird. I was thinking "why don't they do that during a commercial and make a stage hand do it?" But no, they wanted this lady to do it. They had a dog come out on stage. He was cute (see photo), but it seemed kind of random. He didn't do anything but sit on the desk and look cute. Oh, except when LaVanna dropped some candy, they let the dog go and clean it up. The host was mild mannered and seemed really bored. He leaned on the desk looking like he couldn't give a crap about anything. It was his body language and tone of voice that seemed...soooooo bored. He raised his voice only slightly to say "push, push, push" because those contestants had the weakest spins I have ever seen. I think their arms are made out of jello. I'm pretty sure they would've been booed in the US. The contestants were okay, except for their puny spins, but they would groan and throw their hands in the air and say "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" when they got bankrupt. I think they discourage contestants from showing how pissed they are in the US version. It was fascinating to watch. Then during a break, I saw the cutest commercial ever!



who me? have baby fever? noooooooo.

Grasping and clinging to the past

I had a strange and very vivid dream about my childhood home. In the dream, I was visiting it with Patrick. The people who owned it tilled the land and made it into farm land. The backyard had become knee deep in swampy water. They did this on purpose b/c the land sloped so that the water would drain into a large ditch at the back of the yard. I walked around with Patrick and reminisced. I told him how my big brother would come up with all sorts of fun games to entertain us. My brother has an amazing and creative mind. We would rake the leaves into a trail and play tag. I pointed out a tree to Patrick that we tied a rope to a low branch. I explained to him that there would be a gap in the trail so that you would use the rope to jump across. Patrick was very impressed. This dream was so vivid and full of sadness. I cried a lot. I walked around mourned the fact that I'm no longer a kid. We all have to grow up and move on. But in my dream I was desperately sad about losing all of this. In the dream, the house was for sale, and Patrick was willing to buy it for us. I immediately felt better. I began playing with the idea of draining the backyard and recreating the lawn of my childhood.

But, no matter how strongly we wish it, we can't recreate the past. Nor should we strive to do so. The memories I have of my childhood are both good and bad, as is anyone's. I just wonder why that house is weighing so heavily on my mind right now. Perhaps it is because I am currently moving through the city of my ancestor's. Just last night I passed by a church in which an ancestor was baptized. I have thought of these ancestors quite a bit and wonder if we are sharing any views of the city. Perhaps they too stood on a Quai and admired Notre Dame. Or maybe they were busy living life and making ends meet to notice the city around them. Maybe being on my own is bringing my family closer to my heart. I'm not sure. But, that was a really vivid dream.

Our Lady of Paris

Last night after dinner, I decided to go for a walk. My friend, Paola, suggested visiting the courtyard of the Louvre after hours, so that was my goal. I set out along the Seine and immediately paused to admire the beauty of Notre Dame at night. What a wonderful sight. I ended up inside Notre Dame, and they were playing a documentary about the building..inside the building. My favorite part was when they played the sounds of the ancient bell called Emmanuel, which rings in F-sharp. The sound recording reverberated throughout the building, and it was beautiful.

After the film, I walked to the Louvre and watched tourists take pictures in various poses and watch the Eiffel Tower sparkle on the hour. Arriving at the Louvre, I passed a man playing a saxophone in a corridor. The sound was magnificent in the space. I found a spot to lie down, and I spent some time listening to the moving water of the fountains and staring at the pyramids projected onto the night sky. It was very relaxing.

After the Louvre, I walked along the Seine back to my apartment. At one point, I saw 5 or 6 people looking over the ledge to see the lower walkway by the Seine. As I approached, I could hear a band down there. I peeked over too. There were about 10 or 12 young adults playing various instruments in a circle: 4 trombones, a drummer, a tuba, a couple of french horn, a few of trumpets. They played fun, fast music and even sang a bit. They ignored us watching them from of above, but we couldn't resist clapping to show our appreciation.

I then walked along a pedestrian bridge that was packed with groups of young people drinking wine/beer, smoking cigarettes, laughing, and having a general good time. I crossed the Seine and continued back toward my apartment. I took a small detour down a narrow, very bright street which was packed with restaurants and tourists. It was fun to see the bright lights and the various foods being offered.

Finally, 2.5 hours after leaving my apartment, I made it back for a deep sleep.

Today, Paola and I have plans to go to the cinema or watch movies at home. Should be fun. Right now, I'm watching Melrose Place dubbed in French, which is something I think every American should experience.

Paris update

Two things:

1. I saw a lady today biking with a dog in her basket. I always thought that image was a stereotype, and not a true one. But there they were, both cute as can be. And the dog had a little visor on b/c it can get windy riding up front.

2. I have a new, very awesome apartment. There are so many wonderful things about where I am living. I am in the heart of Paris. I walk along the Seine and pass Notre Dame on my way to work.

...and there is a guy on the 2nd floor across the street playing the violin.

sigh.

So far so relaxing.

Team Buffy!

As a fan of both Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Twilight, I love, love, love this video. It makes me laugh. Kudos to the person who put it together.

French phrases for the financially and physically irresponsible

I've been practicing my French since I basically won the lottery and was granted a 2-year fellowship to work in Paris on galaxy simulations. I got the official notice Monday, and I am stoked! I'm also nervous about all the logistics of a big move, but it will all work out.

Anyhoo, I've been working on my French, particularly focusing on listening comprehension. I'm listening to a few podcasts, one by French Today, which I highly recommend. I'm also reading and listening to French books in order to see and hear the words simultaneously. And, I've been watching the Simpson's in French. I find the Simpson's the most difficult to understand with so much slang being thrown around. I have no idea what they are saying and only catch a word here and there.

I also got a CD from the library, just to check it out. It is a "learn in your car" type CD where they repeat things too quickly and don't give you time to repeat what they are saying. This is such a weird CD. If you are making a 3 disc CD and are limited in space, I would think you would choose some of the most crucial phrases for a foreigner to learn. Here are some of the phrases they have included:

1. I want to keep this.

Possibility of my saying this? Maybe a 3 in 10 chance, if a waiter is trying to take away something I'm still noshing on. But, I'm not going to step into someone's house and need this phrase.

2. You need to pay them back.

hmmm. Perhaps I will make friends with someone who borrows money and refuses to pay it back and asks for my advice, but I doubt it. Possibility of Usage: 2:10

3. They are going to fall.

okay. Maybe I see some kids hanging over a bridge on the Seine, and they look careless. But, really? When am I going to use this? Possibility of Usage: 1:10

3. He is going to die.

my favorite phrase hands down. If I had a nickel for all the times I frantically tried to remember this phrase in French, I'd be a rich woman.

I mean. really. come on.

Possibility of Usage: 0:10 (knock on wood)


I'm actually considering copying these CDs b/c the phrases are so bizarre that I want to keep them for the novelty. It reminds me of our Finnish friend whose favorite phrase in French was along the lines of "gentlemen, prepare your bayonets". lol.



JUST FOR FUN:
What movie are you reminded of when you see these images?
French Toast
French Fries

French Dressing

Dang!

We have seven days left in Finland before returning to the United States. Next Monday (December 15th), we fly away with no immediate plans of returning. I am excited to see my family (and the Sun) again. But, I'm also going to miss Finland. It has been a peaceful and productive visit. The Finnish people have been very generous and welcoming to me, and I will definitely miss living here.

Knitters have amazing powers

Neil Gamon wrote a dark children's story called Coraline about a little girl who discovers an alternate version of her life through a secret passage. The story is being made into a 3D stop animation movie, which I am really looking forward to seeing. Here is a trailer to watch if you are interested:



The group creating this movie at Laika impressively crafted everything by hand. They are also creating a buzz around the movie by sending out mystery boxes to bloggers they admire. I found out about because Amy at knitty.com received a Coraline mystery box (number 8 our of 50 handmade personalized boxes). You can see the contents here.

However, I am writing this blog to point you to a short video about the creation of tiny knitted sweaters used in this movie. Go here and type in the code: sweaterxxs

amazing.

Cats have amazing powers

I think these will be all the rage this Christmas! Maybe I should get one for my nieces and nephew.

Arguments

I have to preface this blog with a short note. I am doing an experiment with my friend Mambinki and other bloggers. We are all going to blog on previously chosen subjects as an exercise. You can read about the experiment here. It will be interesting to see how we all interpret the subjects. This week's subject is 'Aruguments'. Well, this immediately brings up a lot of stressful thoughts in me. So, be warned that this is a serious blog. I don't want to bum anyone out, so read only if you wish.
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Arguments are source of learning and growing for me right now. As a child, I watched my parents fight very actively and loudly. I remember being tense and frightened by it all. This has translated into an adult who avoids confrontation at all costs. I adapt to most situations and people. I don't argue with or confront people. In the rare case I do argue with someone, I usually cry a lot b/c it is just so stressful and it is a big deal for me. But, normally I just keep my mouth shut. I am slowly learning the importance of standing up for myself and for others. One of the most important issues for me is building my sense of self and my self esteem. I adapt so much to others around me in order for them to like me and in order to keep arguing to a minimum. The problem with this tactic is that I have no real sense of my values. I stand upon a shifting foundation. I am easily manipulated and influenced, and I don't value my own opinion. I certainly don't think I need to thicken my ego and start yelling at people. But, I do need to build a solid foundation of values and stand upon it without fear. Fear drives too much of my life, and I hope that will change. Of course, I am trying to sort all of this out through meditation. My first goal is to understand that my perspective is valid and not to be afraid to share it with those who don't agree. Even writing that made me feel tense. Arguments. Fear. These are important tools in my life right now. I am grateful for them as tools for me to develop myself into a wiser person. Ultimately, I hope I would be able to stand up for those who can't stand up for themselves b/c this issue is bigger than just me and my self esteem. I think about what I would have done in the times leading up to WWII. Would I have stood up for anyone? Sadly, I know the honest answer to this, and I am not comfortable living with that reality. And the wonderful thing about this life is our free will. I chose to work on this issue and to change so that my mistakes from the past won't be repeated in the future.

I'm still celebrating