I was dumped recently. It took me by surprise, and I was crushed, to be honest. I accepted that this relationship probably wasn't going to last, but man did I want it to last. I really liked him even as I felt insecure while simultaneously feeling out of his league. It was a bizarre mix of feelings. Anyway, I'm a clinger and a wallower. I don't move on quickly or easily. I linger in the past and wail about what happened. What was fascinating to me was the similarities of how I feel now and how I felt about Patrick. I wrote a post recently about my inability to let go, which I will post below. I then saw the post from October 2014 and realized that I could've written that very post in November 2017. Nothing has changed in my mental state except that name that I'm clinging to. It was eye opening to see that. I'm not sure how to fix it. I know that awareness helps. I feel like I'm in the fight of my life right now. I somehow have to retrain 40 years of negative thinking on my part by using the very brain that is wallowing in the muddy thoughts.
Letting go (11/23/2017):
I have a terrible pattern of clinging to the past. I linger and dwell on things that can't be changed. I try to convince myself to move on, and yet I retell the story in my head. It's almost an obsession. Logically, I know I can't change the past. I know the relationship is over, and yet I analyze and evaluate in hopes of finding a solution of sorts. However, my analysis usually results in me suppressing some aspect of my personality in hopes of that fixing things. It's ridiculous. In an attempt to keep my sanity this time, I'm trying different tactics. First up, a cleansing ritual. I don't know if I buy into the full idea of the ritual. However, the act of meditating and then writing about what I wish to release, I do believe to be powerful. The action of writing down the things that are keeping me from moving forward in life make me more aware of what I need to let go. I followed the steps outlined on the website below. I found the meditation to be truly beneficial as well as the ritual of writing down and releasing the old thoughts and patterns that are holding me in the past. I have done it about 3 days now, and I'm a fan. I will likely continue doing this weekly until I start to feel lighter and more open to the reality of the present moment.
thegirlwhoknows.com/letting-go-ritual/
Letting go (11/23/2017):
I have a terrible pattern of clinging to the past. I linger and dwell on things that can't be changed. I try to convince myself to move on, and yet I retell the story in my head. It's almost an obsession. Logically, I know I can't change the past. I know the relationship is over, and yet I analyze and evaluate in hopes of finding a solution of sorts. However, my analysis usually results in me suppressing some aspect of my personality in hopes of that fixing things. It's ridiculous. In an attempt to keep my sanity this time, I'm trying different tactics. First up, a cleansing ritual. I don't know if I buy into the full idea of the ritual. However, the act of meditating and then writing about what I wish to release, I do believe to be powerful. The action of writing down the things that are keeping me from moving forward in life make me more aware of what I need to let go. I followed the steps outlined on the website below. I found the meditation to be truly beneficial as well as the ritual of writing down and releasing the old thoughts and patterns that are holding me in the past. I have done it about 3 days now, and I'm a fan. I will likely continue doing this weekly until I start to feel lighter and more open to the reality of the present moment.
thegirlwhoknows.com/letting-go-ritual/
