No matter how many cookies I eat, I still have to write my dissertation.
Reality sucks sometimes.
I wish I were a wizard like Gandolf. I bet he could give the act of "eating cookies" the power to "write a dissertation". I would be finished if I were Gandolf.
I blame my parents.
Why didn't they send me to wizarding school? They only sent me to a stupid magnet school. Darn them and their short sightedness.